Mistakes and Lies

Ladies and gentlemen of the high places, I know it has been a while, two weeks in fact, and you have to forgive me for my inconsistency. I noticed some traffic on my blog, apparently, some of you have been logging on to see what’s new. I am sorry ooooo. My life has been so stressful and then some construction workers cut off the WiFi cable by mistake, so imagine how far away from the inter-web I’ve been? How was life before the internet? I don’t know how our ancestors survived *sigh* I hope everyone has been good? And summer is going well?

Amid my struggle, I started watching a Nigerian show on YouTube called “Rumour Has It” and I’m hooked. But there’s so much reality in this show and I realized that some people are actually going through issues like that. In season 2, the lady thought her husband was cheating so she cheated but turns out he wasn’t cheating and when her new boyfriend found out she was married, he became a stalker and ruined her marriage, end of story. Who is wrong? The man for not being there in his marriage, or the woman for cheating? The side guy for recording their sex tape and ruining the marriage? All in the name of love. I know a lot of people will play the blame story and have their reasons which may or may not be right but there’s only one truth. Plus, the husband ooo, the wife ooo, the side piece ooo, the three both of them are wrong. Argue with me.


Let’s look at the three sides and analyze, shall we? First of all, remember this: “Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. Love never fails [it never fades nor ends].” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

The Husband (Franklin)

There’s nothing much to say about this character, he was wrong for not being there for his wife and using business as an excuse. Maybe he didn’t cheat with another woman, but we might as well say he cheated with his work. But he didn’t deserve this or to be publicly humiliated. A lot of times we don’t deserve how we are treated, but forgiveness makes you different from the other person. So, I think he ought to forgive his wife. Christ didn’t deserve to be on the cross, yet He was. Yet, He gave us grace. Grace is undeserved mercy and if Christ can do it, so can you. As much as it is important to provide financially for the ones you love, we must remember that everyone has needs that are not just financial. Whatever relationship you find yourself in, be it friendships, family or romantic relationships, we should be sensitive to the other party’s needs. Sometimes we just need someone to talk to, I encourage you today to pick your phone, send a text or call and find out how they are doing. Oh, you think keeping up relationships is the hard part? What about when they wrong you? Talk about forgiving the person and swallowing your pride. This is another topic on its own. BUT we must learn to. Note, how I said “learn”, because it’s not something that just happens, practice makes perfect. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you become a fool for love or whatever, but it means because you love this person truly, you become in fact grateful for the experience. If you’re a Christian, let’s just say you have no choice. Being a Christian means no matter how hard it is, you must forgive, because Christ has forgiven even the worst in you.

Some of you are enjoying this gist and thinking well, I’m not married, or this isn’t me. Newsflash: We are like him more than we think. You might have been hurt or humiliated for something you didn’t deserve, you might have been too proud to forgive, you might have neglected the one you love. You might be this Franklin dude.

 “Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.”

― Corrie ten Boom

The Wife (Dolapo)

Marriage is a covenant, and a covenant is an agreement which involves two people. Which means whatever is done involves the two people, actions and consequences involve the two people, and promises made involve the two people. She was wrong too. Even though her husband wasn’t there for her, she should never have slipped into someone else’s bed. Now she’s pregnant and doesn’t know who the father is. She claimed that the main lied about where he was and she saw him with another lady. And so? Yes, he shouldn’t have lied, although he was seeking medical help. He shouldn’t have lied. Did this give her the right to cheat? Yes. But the fact that you have the right doesn’t mean its right! See what i did there? This brings me back to love, if you really love someone you would never consciously do something that will hurt them. If you have a problem with someone, doing something to hurt them so they “feel the way you feel” isn’t the way forward. Always speak up. Your friend hurt you? Say something. Your mom betrayed your trust? Say something. It’s best to speak on how you feel than take actions that you might end up regretting. Not just because communication is cool, but because it saves you from misjudging a situation and recking something good. Ahan, why am I judging her? I’m not. It’s the truth. She should never have done it BUT here’s the plot twist, everyone makes mistakes. And there’s no one sin greater than the other in the sight of God even though they might have greater consequences. This still hasn’t changed your mind? You’re still saying men are scum or women are scum? Yen yen yen let me just tell you, everybody is scum because everyone is human, and nobody is perfect. However, it is your responsibility as a morally upright person and a born-again Christian to not be scum, and walk in love. But guess what? The man did go back to his wife even though it almost cost him his life. Who does this remind you of? Yes Yes, you already know ama say Jesus. Except in this case, He did come back for us and it did cost His life. See ehn, without argument, there’s no greater love than what He did. Oya now, you’re not Franklin, but maybe you’ve been the neglected one, you’ve made a mistake that cost a relationship, you judged a situation wrongly, you regretted every part of it, and you want to be forgiven. You might be Dolapo. Go talk to this person you hurt, and tell them you are sorry, you want to be forgiven, then turn to Jesus and do the same. Jesus has already forgiven you, but the person you hurt might take a while to heal. Give them the time.

 “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” ― Alexander Pope

The Side Guy (Femi)

This character ehn just made me angry. You know when you think “oh my gosh, he’s so sweet” then suddenly, he’s the devil’s incarnate. This Femi guy. So, he met a girl, he really liked her, he fell in love. Although, he didn’t know she was married at first (not his fault, the lady lied), what should he have done when he found out? Call it off right? Noooooo, he decided that this thing that he wanted was what he was going to get. I’m all about being a goal getter but there’s a line that you cross where it turns to stupidity. Let’s not even go into the fact that he was having sex before marriage (story for another day), or the lady committing adultery *sigh*. The bone I have to pick with him is this, everyone makes mistakes yh, but when you realize it’s a mistake you’re supposed to correct it. If he truly loved her, he would have walked away. No, not because of that cute saying, “if you love something, let it go”. But because of 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8. However, this guy decided to blackmail her, costing her a grant for her NGO, public embarrassment and almost costing her marriage. Even going as far as stalking, breaking into their home with a weapon and almost committing a crime. Why would you want to see someone you “love” hurt? See, not love. This word has been thrown around way too often, it has lost it’s true meaning. Love is not a feeling that you feel when you feel a feeling for someone or something else. NO. Love is a choice. It means irrespective of what goes down you will always do what’s best for the other party, even if it’s inconvenient. So, before you use the word love next time thinking you mean it honestly, look at the scripture above and look at Jesus. Is your “love” like this. No, I’m not yet 100% great at loving myself or others, but I’m on the path. And we should all be. Come on, you’re not Franklin or Dolapo. You might be Femi. You might really want something or think you really love and this clouds your judgement or actions, take a step back, rethink your motive and weigh your options. Even if you only read all of this for the gist, I hope you’ve learnt something along the way. I really think we can find a little bit of ourselves in at least one of the characters. So, beautiful people this it where it ends, if you want to watch the series it’s on YouTube. Feel free to tell me what else you learnt from it, so I too can learn biko.

“Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own”

―H. Jackson Brown, Jr.




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